Silent Treatment (The Silent Killer of Relationships)

The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether. It is also referred to colloquially as the “cold shoulder,” “sulking,” or clinically as ostracism. In relationships, the silent treatment might manifest when
one partner becomes withholding in the middle of an argument and begins refusing to engage in any way to further the discussion. Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative
punishment.
The term originated from "treatment" through silence, which was fashionable in prisons in the 19th century. In use since the prison reforms of 1835, the silent treatment was used in prisons as an alternative to physical punishment, as it was believed that forbidding prisoners from speaking, calling them by a number rather than their name, and making them cover their faces so they couldn't see each other would encourage reflection on their crimes.

🔸What Is the Silent Treatment?

Though it may look different from one interaction to the next, the silent treatment is generally one person’s efforts to shut out another person. It can occur in any type of relationship or setting, including between:
▫️Coworkers
▫️Friends
▫️Family members
▫️Roommates
▫️Romantic partners

There are many reasons someone might try this strategy. Some people who believe they have high self-control might use the silent treatment as a way of “taking the high road” or what they see as not succumbing to the level of communication happening with the other person. Others see it as a rational reaction to a problem or conversation, rather than an emotional one.
Stonewalling is another form of silence and an attempt to shut out another person. Some differences lie in the time frame, as stonewalling generally happens in the course of a conversation, while the silent treatment could last weeks, months, or even years.
Stonewalling may also be an attempt at self-protection— that is, an individual is acting out of fear of the other person or fear of conflict, rather than malice.

❄️ Is silent treatment passive abuse?
This is because the ' silent treatment ', also known as emotional withholding, is actually a form of passive￾aggressive abuse. This happens when your partner refuses to enter into any form of meaningful dialogue
with you, regardless of the situation at hand.�

❄️ Signs of the Silent Treatment:
Most people are aware when they are on the receiving end of the silent treatment with a partner, especially in the midst of conflict or argument. Ostracism or the silent treatment can also look like:
◾A parent ignoring a child
◾Children excluding peers during social time or games
◾Online ostracism
◾Nonverbal displays of anger
◾Collectively shutting out an individual from a friend group
◾Excluding a coworker from a collaborative project
◾Family disownment
◾Using a third party to threaten an individual
◾Other indirect aggression (such as social media posts)

❄️How the Silent Treatment Affects Relationships:

Experiencing the silent treatment denies basic human social and relationship needs. The silent treatment has been known to end romantic relationships, alienate friends, and negatively impact child development. When children experience the silent treatment from parents or caregivers, the effects can be devastating. Some evidence suggests women may respond differently to the silent treatment than men. For example, a study of workplace collaboration shows women were more likely to compensate or attempt to become even more proactive and communicative when ostracized from a group project, whereas men were more likely to give up or “loaf.”
People who have been ostracized describe feeling less than human and tend to believe the person who has ostracized them also believes they are less than human. When a child or partner feels someone close to them challenges their humanity, it can severely threaten many aspects of mental health, such as self￾esteem, belonging, control, and meaningful existence.

❄️ How to Deal with the Silent Treatment:

◾Take a gentle approach: Make it about them Or, make it about you.
◾Ignore it until it blows over.
◾Acknowledge the Other Person’s Feelings and Share Your Own.
◾Not to Burst Your Bubble.
◾Ask Yourself Whether it’s Just a Personality Difference
◾Don't Apologize Unless You're Truly Sorry.
◾Offer solutions.
◾Stand up for yourself.

❄️ Therapy for the Silent Treatment:

Some research indicates in romantic relationships, partners who use the silent treatment believe it ultimately leads to conflict resolution. Targets of the silent treatment, however, rarely agreed—and in fact are more likely to feel lasting resentment toward the other partner. One of the first steps in mending �a relationship that has been harmed by repeated use of the silent treatment may be for both partners to agree it is not a method conducive to problem solving.
Working with a therapist can help couples identify conflict resolution tactics that better serve both partners and do not ostracize one or more parties. Someone who has repeatedly experienced the silent treatment from partners, family members, or other individuals may benefit from individual therapy to help rebuild self-esteem. In some cases, trauma healing techniques such as eye movement desensitizationand reprocessing (EMDR) can help someone who has posttraumatic stress (PTSD) symptoms related to ostracism.

Rokaiya Zarin▪️✍️

Tahsin Mahmud▪️🖼️